最初の紙切れ — "Number 13."
It's written in messy handwriting, and the paper is torn in places.
My patient ID is 0013. An unlucky number for most. In many cases, 13 is avoided. The 13th floor of a hotel becomes the 14th, the 13th door number in an apartment complex becomes nil. It's skipped, ignored, avoided. But always there. The 14th floor will always be the 13th, no matter how many times you change its name. It's the same with me, I suppose. People attempt to forget, to toss aside, to ignore or skip over, but no matter how many times that happens, I will still be there. Watching... Haunting.. ♪
13 is seen as unlucky. If you end up staying on the 13th floor, you get haunted by ghosts. You get targeted by Lady Luck, and not in a pleasant way either. You find yourself short of everything, breaking things, losing money, waking up with claw marks over your body, your closest friends slowly hating you... Such is similar to me. I am the unluckiest angel you will meet. I am tormented daily by my own body and mind, I am haunted by spirits every day, the world I view is not the same as others, it is full of flesh and staring eyes, deformed masses with gaping mouths and sunken, melted eye sockets, their arms flail as they groan in pain. I stare, I watch, I smile. Thirteen more minutes.
Every Friday the 13th is a blessing to me, even if others find it unlucky, or become paranoid around the date... I feel as if me and the number 13 are connected... I feel at home around dates including the number 13. Sometimes I find myself wishing there was a 13th month so I could have been born on that month instead of the 12th 〜 .
1313 is an angel number, one meaning "change and new beginnings". It's interesting, I feel as if, my body is constantly changing... Rotting, decaying, falling apart... Becoming paler, sicker, more frail. My doll-joints become harder to move, stiffer and more painful... My everlasting fever becomes more noticeable, harder to ignore. Just like the number 13. The angel number 1313. Change, the inability to ignore, the unluckiness of it all.
If I was to ever overdose on pills, I would take exactly 13 of every medication I could find.